cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
