I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize