yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize