if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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