i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
