I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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