I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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