i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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