I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Randomize
