Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
