I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
