Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
