I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize