I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
