Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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