He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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