Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize