never play flip cup with pint glasses
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
