I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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