sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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