Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
