It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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