His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
