So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize