I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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