Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
