We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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