Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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