nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
