if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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