What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
