Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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