My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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