Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
