and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize