oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
