Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
