David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
