Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
