True but thats because hes a fetus.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I just found puke in my bra..
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize