She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
