You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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