Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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