Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize