Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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