Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
