What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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