I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
