Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
