it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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