i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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