I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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