i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
ugly people sure do ruin things
nutella sex= disaster
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
