He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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