I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
