no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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