You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
