They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
