Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
