The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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