Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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