i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
home. puking in laundry basket.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
