yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
