There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
