she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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