So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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