it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
