Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
