I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
