And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Randomize
