he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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