**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
You work out of a Hotel?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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