Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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