i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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