Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
