Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
