love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
